This post is going to be farm news at its best! You all know Susannah, the goat I raised in the house almost 13 years ago, right? Her mother had a condition about 10 years ago that made her udder (milk bag) swell to dangerous proportions so I took her to the vet school at Iowa State in Ames, Iowa. They diagnosed her with a false pregnancy, an obvious hormone imbalance, that they treated and she was fine. Well, Susannah’s udder has been getting bigger for some time now over the summer until last weekend when one side got huge and very hard. I took her to the vet on Monday morning and he diagnosed mastitis, an infection of the udder. He milked out some of the chunky substance and showed me how to do it. I could do it while I was there but I was instructed to do it twice a day and I never could get the hang of it again when I got home. I read online, watched videos and still could not figure out what I was doing wrong. Rick would call me several times a day to see if I had been successful yet and each time he tried to give me helpful hints….but let’s face it – he was in Mississippi and it’s hard to TELL somebody in words how to milk a goat.
That night I hardly slept because I kept thinking about how my hands and fingers should be positioned, how they should feel, and how I was going to get that spoiled milk out of poor Susannah. When Mandy and Joan came to work, lo and behold, I had a teacher! Joan knew how to milk by hand so off I went to the barn to get Susannah. By now she knew what the leash meant and she was having no part of it. Finally I had to pick her up and carry her to a spool table right outside the quilt shop. I gave Joan my chore clothes and held on to Susannah as tight as I could so she wouldn’t kick or butt Joan. Wow! The milk came flowing out and Joan did it so effortlessly. Then came my turn and Joan was able to show me how to do it. I was not even close in my guess of how to do it! I was being far too gentle, I was afraid to squeeze as hard as I needed to and before too much time, I had figured it out. I could feel the milk coming down into the teat each time I let me hand relax and sure enough, with a squeeze, the milk shot out! I was elated!!
With a lilt in her step, Susannah returned to the barn and had a comfortable day, the first one in a long time. And me, I had to have a nap in my chair after lunch since I couldn’t sleep at all the night before. Add “expert goat milker” to Joan’s job description!
Just for a laugh…
Saint Peter is sitting at the Pearly Gates whentwo guys wearing dark hoodies and sagging pants arrive.
St. Peter looked out through the Gates and said, “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”
St. Peter goes over to God’s chambers and tells him who is waiting for entrance. God says to Peter:
“How many times do I have to tell you? You can’t be judgmental here. This is heaven. All are loved. All are brothers. Go back and let them in!”
St. Peter goes back to the Gates, looks around, and lets out a heavy sigh. He returns to God’s chambers and says,”Well, they’re gone.”
“The guys wearing hoodies?” asked God.
“No. The Pearly Gates.”